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Welcome to 3rd Quarter!

Wake Up Call
Your time to shine is NOW!


I’ve missed you all! Let me tell you this first half of the year has been a whirlwind of change. Hence the reason for my not-nearly-planned hiatus. I will spare you the details of what 6 months of change can do to a person, but I do want to inspire you in a few ways.

Let’s start with goal setting. How are you doing with your goals? No, not resolutions. Those are fraudulent, empty promises we make as a result of tradition (we traditionally make them and traditionally break them three weeks later). Goals are intentional outcomes we set out to achieve in order to enhance or improve our lives.

So…again…how are you doing with your goals? Have you starting working on them? Are you stuck in a particular stage: research, development, implementation, growth, maintenance? We are at the official half way mark of the year. (Well, for the technical ones we’ll be there at midnight 7/2/2018). Now is a great time to revisit the goals you set for yourself no matter how long ago it was. There’s no set starting point to when you can set or reset a goal. You don’t have to wait until January 1st, the beginning of a month, or even the beginning of a week. You can set a goal at 6:54 pm on a Tuesday if you want! The point is to STICK with the goal once you SET it! Need help in this area? Contact me and let’s talk!

Now let’s talk movement. Have you put your body in motion lately? Not necessarily a full fledged workout, but have you gone outside? Taken a trip? Visited the museum, or art gallery, or metro park? I get we’re in the digital age, but we aren’t digital humans. We’re still analog – for the time being, LOL – and we need to move our bodies! We need fresh air, clean water, and high quality foods to fuel us! That’s how we “plug in” for our energy. Put down the phone and log off the computer for a few hours. Re-calibrate your senses and “ground” yourself back into reality!

“How do I “ground” myself?

I’m glad you asked! It’s simple. Find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Grounding is helpful in a variety of ways: to calm anger, to reduce anxiety, and – you guessed it – to bring you awareness of your current reality. Do it today! Thank me tomorrow! :o)

Finally, as we step into a new month, quarter, and semi-annual phase, let’s talk celebration! I’m ALL about celebrating accomplishments – big AND small! What have you achieved lately that you downplayed or gave no attention? Did you start going to work earlier? Have you made strides in your savings account? Got a chance to shoot your shot at that cutie you’ve been eyeing since forever ago? Whatever improvements you’ve made in your life, don’t forget to celebrate them! When you celebrate, you put out an energy signal that says, “I love this! I want more of this!” We already put out negative signals daily whenever we whine, complain, or gripe about things not going our way. Let’s shift that attitude and begin to put out INTENTIONAL signals when things DO go our way! Call it what you want. Credit who you want. The facts are the same – where attention goes, energy flows, and results show! That’s from T. Harv. Eker and it’s as true today as it was when he was given this advice, and when that person was given this advice, and so on, and so on, and Scooby Dooby Doo!

I’m currently less than 48 hours away from ending my 40 day social media fast. It has been much needed and allowed me to position myself accordingly as I enter this new level. Things are definitely looking up and I’m excited to be back to help motivate, inspire, and transform you to look up WITH me as well! Let’s vow to make this second half of the year better than this first; this third quarter of the year the best, and this month the MOST…LIT…EVER!

As for me? I have a few things up under my sleeve, such as my group coaching session, the EmpoWEred Women’s Rock Mixer, and my July Empower Hour! And, of course, if you’re in need of motivation, inspiration, and transformation I’m always here to help you!

What’s on the calendar for your July! Let’s fill it up and make it happen!

I’m in the game WITH you and also rooting FOR you!

***Coach B***

Old Blog…New Tips!!

Hey Rockstarrs!

Welcome (back) to YOUR blog! Yes, you read that right! This is a place for YOU…the readers…to find the motivation, inspiration, and dedication you need to fulfill YOUR definition of success. Not much has changed about this blog. It’s still designed to help you identify road blocks, remove them, and get you back on track. The only adjustment is in the delivery – as in when you’ll see new posts! You can look forward to a new blog gracing your inbox or newsletter the first of every month! Haven’t subscribed yet? Follow the link and sign up!

For this blog, I want to initiate our new cycle by focusing on a subject that seems to be in the air for a lot of people. That subject is the principle of starting over. We’re in the last 4 month segment of 2017 (or for those that like quarters, the first day of the last month of the 3rd quarter…ya dig?!). While some people are still working diligently towards their goals, there are those who have either: a) given up their goals months ago and returned to everyday living, or b) those who want to “start again” come January 1st. This month’s message is for the masses that are thinking about giving up – or already have.

Honey, listen (when you see this…the message begins!), there is absolutely NO SHAME in not having achieved all you set out to achieve 244 days ago. I’m sure at some point your mojo was on 10 and you were on blaze towards your goals. So what happened? Life! It always does. Finances change. The blaze turned into a fire…then downgraded to a spark…then downgraded again to a sizzle. Support system dried up. Vision got cloudy. Eyes got blurry, filled with tears of regret. And then, you contemplated throwing in the proverbial towel.

Why? Because at some point during December 2016 you heard someone somewhere tell you to make a goal SO BIG that it SCARES the bejeebies out of you! So that’s what you did. You set a goal – or two, or three – so large that you damn near wet your pants in fear, but kept your composure because you knew, you just knew, that by December 2017 you would be balling out of freaking control!

Here’s the problem with – what have been described to me as – BIG, HAIRY, AUDACIOUS GOALS: they don’t happen in 365 days! Super sized goals take TIME! Lots of time! And I don’t mean time to manifest. Once you claim it the goal is yours. What takes time is for your vibration to match the goal, for you to do the work, and for you to SEE (major key – shout out to DJ Khaled!) the goal in your life! Yet that’s one of the things no one tells you! They say dream big, quit your job, work hard, don’t sleep, and your life will change forever. That’s a truth, but a heavily stretched one. So, before you throw in that proverbial towel let’s break down how these BHA goals REALLY happen!

  1. Dream big! This is when you set the goal of your desires. It doesn’t matter what it is: buy a house, get married/divorced, travel more, escape society and go live in the Amazon Rainforest. The point is to identify what makes your heart sing and your spirit almost rise out of your body in excitement! It can be one goal or 100! If it seems damn near unobtainable, but very desirable, that’s your BHA goal.
  2. Quit your job! Let me clear my throat on this one. *ahem* WORST! ADVICE! EVER! Unless you’ve won the Power Ball or inherited a nice chunk of change, you’re still going to have bills and responsibilities while on the road to creating your BHA goal. Anyone that recommends quitting your job is automatically suspect to me. I’m convinced they either didn’t have money issues to begin with (which, in that case, how can they relate to the everyday person’s struggle), or they’re using it as a marketing angle to make themselves look like an overnight success (which we ALL know – or should know – takes about 10 years). Never, ever leave your job (or as Lisa Nichols calls it, your “investor”) before your wings are ready to fly. Sure, make preparations, but January 2nd is not the day to tell your boss to kiss your you-know-what or to spike that annoying co-worker’s coffee with ex-lax and try to say it’s “mocha flavoring!” (Don’t ask…)
  3. Work hard. This tip is inevitable, but it’s also deceiving. Working hard is not – I repeat, NOT – the same as being busy! Working hard can be researching distributors, filling out legal paperwork for business filing, setting up test runs for new products. It does not have to be physically labor intensive or mentally non-stimulating. It’s simply doing what really needs to be done to start on the path of meeting your goals…not what makes it “look” like you’re doing something.
  4. Don’t sleep. GTFOH!!! Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t risk your health trying to obtain your wealth.”? Well, this phrase was created to counteract this non-essential bullshit piece of advice. Our bodies need to rest! There is no honor in burnout! You can’t focus if you’re burning the candle on both ends. All that’s going to do is wear you out, tear you up, and make you essentially useless in the pursuit of your own goals. Look, I get it, we live in a society that thrives on instant gratification. However, not everything can be nuked in the microwave for 30 seconds. I like how Eric Thomas put it: “It takes 21 years to be 21!” Some things just…take…time! No amount of sleep deprivation is going to change that. Do your part, and let the rest take care of itself.

*thinks to self: so much for a short blog!*

So what am I saying in all of this…and how does it tie in to the title? Don’t give up just because you’re not “there” yet. Understand and ACCEPT the fact that some goals take longer than others to achieve. If you’ve lost your blaze, find a new direction to achieve the same goal. And for Pete’s sake and for the love of Mike (whomever they are) please, please…DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB…YET! (The day will come. Hold on, grasshopper!)

Today is a great day to have a great day! Today is also a great day to pick up where you left off. We still have 4 full months until we do this craziness called resolutions again. Don’t start over on January 1st. Keep going on September 1st! Yeah, that sounds real nice!

Stay focused!


Get back in motion!

I have to laugh at myself sometimes! Here it is, Thursday, and I had YET to write this week’s blog! My goal is to write and post a blog every Monday (what is known as my Motivational Monday blogs). However, last month I experimented with posting a blog theme. Every week I wrote a new blog focusing on a specific topic. It was a trial run to see if I could follow a structured formula in regards to blog content.

I did great!

Then I got bored.

See, here’s the thing about me. I’m EXTREMELY (not yelling, just stating) spontaneous! Well, as spontaneous as a parent can get. I don’t like to plan blog topics. I don’t like to plan, period! Now before you hit me with the If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! hoopla hear me out.

I am several things: a blue personality…an empath…a Gemini…an artist in all capacities. I’m moved by inspiration, not structure. Ideas can strike me at 3am or 7 pm (which is funny because that’s what time it is now). When these ideas hit me, they all comes at once, sometimes in speeds that leave me before I can write them all down. I did well last month, but I also learned something about myself…and about creatives. We GO when we FLOW!

Did you catch that?!

We GO when we FLOW!

That means we’re at our best when moved by our creative energies. Now the structured stuff is good, too, no doubt about it. But you get supreme excellence when you move once the feeling strikes you! I’m telling you, there’s nothing like being moved to create and inspire spontaneously!

What’s my point? If you find that you move – umm – differently than the rest of the world that’s okay. You can still be structured and spontaneous at the same time. When the mood strikes, get as much information and set up as possible. Then, schedule the outcome to occur when you’d like it to appear. For example, sometimes I’ll get blog ideas late at night. Before my experiment, I would write the blog out on a Word doc or here and schedule it for a Monday release. It’s a win-win…and a method I’m returning to immediately!

What if you’re not a blogger thought? What if you’re a photographer and get inspiration to shoot in a certain area of town? Schedule a day and time you can go to that spot and I bet inspiration will meet you there. Are you a painter? Sketch your ideas or jot down what it looks like if you’re not in a position to grab a paintbrush at the moment. When you get to your canvas take your notes. Re-live that vision and transfer it appropriately.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t recreate your visions it 100% all the time. Learn your flow and work WITH it, not AGAINST it. Then schedule a time when you can execute what you received during your flow. Don’t allow the discrepancies of energy vs availability to stop you from being creative or consistent. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Find your path and ROCK IT!

Coach Cartel

Watch your words!

My friends have a way of inspiring me without even knowing it. During said friend’s morning radio show (Shout out to Miss Thang from Power 95 in Bermuda!!!), she was reading an email she received from one of her listeners. He stated that he was a long time listener of her show and, recently, his wife started listening in also. Long story short, he stated that his wife’s outlook on life, work, and other areas began to change and she was more positive and optimistic due to advice my friend would give during her show.

Now, I’ve been listening for about couple of weeks (now that I finally found an app that works!) and I can attest to the power of her advice. Not only is she kind, funny, and a great host – but she’s REAL! The words she speaks are powerful because they are true. When it comes from the heart you can just tell; when she gives her views on a subject, advice on how to overcome adversity, and her final thoughts before the show ends she’s just being her genuine self.

That’s just it thought. When my friend is speaking on the radio she’s not aiming to change lives, but she does it anyway. People, whether you know it or not, someone is always listening and watching – some are even waiting for an answer to a prayer. You never know who will be touched by your words so it’s best to use them for good. Not only does it help those that may be listening to you, but it also helps you directly. There are enough people in the world spewing envy and hatred. As weak as that energy is, it’s easier to gravitate towards because it’s a low vibration. However, when you speak kindness, love, gratitude, and appreciation you vibrate at a higher level. When other’s receive your words and believe in them they, too, begin to vibrate higher.

As a writer at heart and a true lover of words, I know that each one comes with it’s own energy. The combination of these words, in addition to the intent used behind them, will determine how this energy is used – and received. Each energy has a message behind it. If it’s a negative energy, there’s a cry for help. (I need attention. I need love. I need to be heard. I need to be understood. I need to understand.) If it’s a positive energy, there’s a presence of gratitude. (I love you. I am here for you. I believe in you. I can help you. I will listen to you.)

Even if you don’t speak to be heard, every time you do speak someone close by can hear you. You may not be talking to them, but your words – and their vibrations – are being picked up by those around you. Think about it for a minute. Have you ever walked passed someone during an argument, or heard someone receive bad news, or listened to a tragic story? How did you feel? Bad…sad…horrible? That’s the effect words have on you…on me…on everyone. So not only do you need to be careful with your own words, but you also must be mindful of the words spoken TO you and AROUND you!

Language is a beautiful way to communicate. It’s like water…a necessary element of live that can create and sustain life…or destroy it. People are silently listening to your every word. Be intentional with your words…and be very, VERY careful.

How do you feel words affect you? Comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts!


Pre-NaNo Pep Talk


The time is upon us! Tomorrow is the first day of National Novel Writing Month and I, Diamond Cartel, have yet again committed to writing another 50,000-plus word banger in 30 days. Why? Well, because:

  • I’m insane!
  • It keeps my creativity going.
  • I prefer to leave no second of the day untouched.
  • Did I say I was insane?!

Seriously, I’ve done this challenge with NaNoWriMo, the organization that hosts the yearly event, since 2008. I’ve participated every year with the exception of 2 years. This time I’m going to up the challenge on myself. While the goal of the challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, I want to write a 65,000-plus word novel in that amount of time. It’s going to require hard work, focus, dedication – and lots and LOTS of cake – but I know it can be done.

So what does NaNoWriMo have to do with motivation?! Everything! NaNoWrimo is the challenger. The word count of 50,000 within 30 days is the goal. There’s a SMART system here (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely). Completion and inner satisfaction (because, real talk, there is no cash prize) is the reward. Whenever you set a goal in life – whether it’s writing a novel in 30 days or preparing to  move in a year – you need to lay the foundation for the goal in order to succeed. If you’re not prepared when it’s time to start, you’re only adding frustration to delay and reduce your chances of completion.

When I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year I made sure to do several things to honor my commitment:

  • Update my novel submission page
  • Write out  my story title, synopsis
  • Set my writing schedule
  • Put everyone on notice (my kids literally rolled their eyes!)
  • Set reward milestones to keep me motivate
  • Made a commitment that no matter if, when, or how I fall behind I will keep pushing forward

You have to do the same with your goals, whatever they may be. Set your intentions, lay your foundation, put the right people on notice, CELEBRATE along the way, and commit to accomplishing your goal no matter what happens! NaNoWriMo isn’t just about writing stories to me. It’s about improving my goal setting practices. It’s about dreaming bigger and stretching myself personally and professionally. I’m not just creating a new novel. I’m creating a new chapter in my own life! I can’t wait to get started tomorrow! Let’s see how this pans out!

If you’d like to sign up for NaNoWriMo (no worries, it’s FREE!) visit and register. Join in on the fun and feel free to add me as a writing buddy!

Happy writing!


Lighten Up!

Yes, I said it! There is way too much negativity going on in the world. I, for one, can no longer take it! I mean, come on people! Not everything requires the resting b**ch face! Some things you need to address. Some things you need to laugh off. Some things you need to just let go. We already live in a world ruled by chaos, confusion, and criticism. We deal with fear, failure, and frail egos. This “microwave generation” insists on having what they want, when they want it, how they want it, right now! And not right now…but RIGHT NOW!!! Everyone’s all go, go, go…gimmie, gimmie, gimmie…grind, grind, grind!

*insert eye roll here*

Breathe, people!

Let me be the first to give you permission to forget what you’ve heard, seen, or believe and to – for once – be unapologetically you! Why? Because that’s who the world needs right now. We don’t need another business expert. We don’t need another financial guru. We don’t need another social media maven, or transformational teacher. The world has enough of them. I know because I follow – and Love – a lot of them. What the world needs is YOU! The writer! The dreamer! The achiever! And we need you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

What brings about this rant of mine? Because I’m beginning to notice a pattern that’s very unsettling to my inner child. It’s this incessant need to look the part of success. We’ve all been sold this dream that in order to be a successful, financially flamboyant person (you know you want to laugh at that…go ahead, it’s okay!) we have to act, look, and be a certain way. We need to have this cold, stern, I-talk-only-business face on at all times. We need to negotiate deals like corporals. We can’t crack jokes, or share politically incorrect memes, or even post our true feelings on a subject out of fear of – gasp – having or own opinion. and – an even bigger gasp – having that opinion judged!

Since when did becoming robots equate to success? Since when did selling our soul for fame and recognition become the ONLY path? Quite frankly, I’m over it and you should be, too! Granted, there are certain aspects of success that are necessary: the need to respect individuals, networking and communication, and being in integrity. You should be able to do these things AND be successful AND be who you truly are. After all, without respect I doubt you’ll have many clients. Without networking and communication your customer base will be non-existent. As far as integrity, you have to be who you say you are…and you can’t do that trying to emulate something or someone that you’re NOT!

I’m a highly functioning, high vibrational, high spirited individual that LOVES to laugh, have fun, joke around, and be the unfiltered, glitter throwing, smile flashing, crazy dancing, spontaneous goofball that I am! Yet society has me feeling lately as if I need to tone it down and squeeze into this perception of the strict discipline, straight face, all knowing, BORING (a Gemini’s worst fear) individual that wants massive amounts of people to follow me because I see all and know all!

I think not!

Honey, listen! It’s okay – and necessary – to be authentically you. And I mean the legit definition of authentic. Not the mirror-imitate-this-expert type of authentic. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you or get you.  Your circle – your tribe – need you just the way you are. But you can’t find them until you take off the mask, put an end to the façade, and be who you are. Damn it, didn’t you learn ANYTHING from Dr. Seuss?!

Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

I hope this gives you the permission that you feel you need, which you really DON’T need, to just be you. I’m taking my own advice and returning back to my authentic, Love-centered self. Why? Because that’s who I am, that’s who I’ve always been, and that’s who I’ll always be.






What’s your #unapologetically_ hashtag?! Share below! You just might inspire someone else. :o)


What I Learned from Being the (Involuntary) Toxic Friend

We’ve all heard the saying Misery loves company. Yet, sometimes Misery doesn’t even want her own damn company. It’s no secret that no one wants to be around a Debbie Downer or a Negative Neil (women aren’t the only ones that bring the drama). Yet, very few – and I do mean VERY FEW – people acknowledge the fact that a) sometimes they ARE the negative friend, and b) sometimes, try as they might, it’s just not their choice.

Over the past few months – hell, damn near a year – I was that negative, toxic friend. It was me that had all the drama including, but not limited to: car chases, police reports, hospital visits, Hot Sauce in my bag (true Bey fans will get that one!), Children’s Services…I mean, you name it I went through it. And I felt bad – really bad – about even opening up to people about it. Not because I was ashamed or embarrassed, but because I didn’t WANT to be…you know…THAT friend. Thank God, after every storm comes a rainbow. Here – color coordinated because I’m artistic like that; chakra based because I’m Spiritual like that – is what my rainbow taught be about being the toxic friend.

Indigo: Here sets the foundation of all rainbows. Indigo represents all things visual and spiritual. Let me tell you all that during my TFT (hereinafter known as toxic friend time) I was anything BUT visual and spiritual. I didn’t care anything about positivity, higher vibrations, peace, serenity…none of that. I just wanted the person that caused my storm to feel it as much pain as me. And it’s not that I didn’t WANT any of the aforementioned feelings; I felt like couldn’t get them. That hurt me, and we all know hurt people…hurt people.

Lesson learned: Drama kills your Spirit. Protect your peace.

Blue: My favorite color! So many moods and meanings. Yet in this case I’m using it to reference clarity and communication – or lack thereof. No matter how hard I tried to explain things to people (which they should have seen as a sign of desperation because, normally, I don’t explain shit) no one was understanding what I was going through, how I was going through it, nor why I was going through it. Hell, even I didn’t understand and I was one of the main players. My words became so misconstrued that I really started to believe people felt like I WANTED to be in my predicament; as if I created the scenarios to play out like it did. Honey, listen…if I want drama I’ll create a story – NOT live it outright, okay!?

Lesson learned: Sometimes, silence really is golden.

Green: The color of life, nature, empathy, and peace. None of those things resonated with me during my TFT. My life felt like an endless battle. Everything – and everyone – around me seemed to be dying. There was no empathy because no one was going through anything even remotely near what I was going through (nor would I wish that on anyone). Peace…what was that?! My outlook was so bleak that it was difficult – and at times downright impossible – to find anything to look forward to enjoying.

Lesson learned: Create inner peace in the midst of chaos.

Yellow: The two biggest indicators here for me are personal power and self-worth. Both, in my case, were missing in action. I felt so powerless and helpless during my TFT and had no outer validation that, all along, the power was within me to stop the insanity and turn it around. I’ve never really had a big bank of self-worth and this situation totally TANKED what took me YEARS to build. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, was bright during this time in my life.

Lesson learned: Personal power overcomes all obstacles.

Orange: Cheerfulness, happiness, love, joy – all elements that were missing from my life…especially the last one. Even when I faked like everything was fine, it wasn’t a challenge to see that I was lying – something that I loathe doing. I’m not even sure why I did it. Most of the time no one cared, and the ones that did soon stopped when I thought things were taking a turn for the better – which was really just a set up for a turn for the worst. I wanted to reach out to my friends (because truth be told I’m not that close with my family – no beef, just not that close), but they were either too busy with their own lives or too tired of hearing about mine. So I stopped reaching out and just wallowed in my own misery; slowly watching it kill my soul while praying it didn’t succeed.

Lesson learned: Personal happiness is a personal responsibility.

Red: The other end of the foundation. Where the Indigo roots you to the heavens, red roots you to the Earth. It keeps you grounded and fuels your inner passion, drive, and excitement for life. During my TFT, all red did was fuel my inner passion for vengeance. Which is funny, because it wasn’t until I detached from all of these negative outlooks that Karma stepped in and started doing her damn job (where in the f*ck was she at months ago?!). Red is often a misunderstood color because it represents anger which can bring out the worst in people. Here’s the thing though. Red ignites your inner PASSION! So if it’s positive then it brings out the best in you. If not, then it brings out the worst in you. I think out of all the color representations this one was the worst for me because it brought out two sides of me that I disliked: the angry, vengeful side and the weak, vulnerable side. One caused me to lose everything. The other almost caused me to lose my life. Neither were desirable outcomes. Neither were non-toxic.

Lesson learned: No matter what, stay grounded and humble.

I said all of this to bring you to this point. Your TFT moment – or, in some cases, the TFT moment of someone close to you – isn’t always as cut-and-dry as they just like drama. If you are the toxic friend, know that you are not alone and this, too, shall pass. While you’re in the storm, as hard as it may be, keep your eyes open. Watch your surroundings closely. Things are going to change so rapidly and erratically that you may miss an important lesson – or three. Take note of who’s willing to stay, who’s waxing and waning, and who’s walking away.

If you have a friend that’s going though TFT (they’re not really toxic, they’re just going through something – stop being an ass!) understand that your friend is human and right now, more than ever, they need you to have their back like the title “friend” indicates you do. Maybe they’re trapped in a dramatic situation. Maybe they’ve made attempts to avoid or seize the drama, but it didn’t work out in their favor. Maybe, just maybe, it’s not even their f*cking drama to begin with! Whatever the case, while you don’t have to take on their drama nor participate directly in their TFT, you can be a sounding board and provide a listening ear and/or word of encouragement while still protecting your own energy.

As for me, I just thank God my TFT is over! And why is it over? Because I said it was over. Once I got in a space where I literally had no one and it was just me, I had to find a solution or die trying. And then I almost died…no, literally, he tried to kill me…and it was fly or fall. The TFT ended with me. It also ends with YOU! When you are done with the negativity, the drama, the backstabbing, the lies, the fabrication of stories…when you’re really done, whether you have an army of supporters behind you or it’s just you and your Higher Power, you can – and will – end the toxic cycle for good!

I’d like to personally say thank you to everyone that stood by my side. Thank you to those that left and came back. Thank you to those that left and stayed gone. Your response to my TFT is appreciated because it showed me who was who, what was what, and gave me the inner strength – one that I always knew existed – to end a vicious cycle for good.


A former toxic friend

What are YOU waiting for?

Here it is, yet another Monday, and you’re back at your traditional job – doing your traditional tasks – and living yet another unfulfilling day in your unfulfilling life. Le sigh. Is this ever going to get better? Is this all there is to life…my life? You keep asking yourself the same questions over and over, hoping and praying that one day you’ll wake up and will be living the life of your dreams.

But here’s the thing. You already have the answers to these questions. The answers lie in your actions – or lack thereof. Is this ever going to get better? It will when you decide to get better. Is this all there is to life…my life? It is if that’s all you’re working toward. See, despite how commercial people make the glamorous life look, you can enjoy those same experiences if you would just DECIDE to experience them! No one is stopping your life from getting better except for you. No one is hindering you from having the life of your dreams except for you. The key is in your hands – it always was – and you have the power to open and close any door you wish.

Now let’s get some clarity on my view of this blog. When I say YOUR LIFE that’s exactly what I mean! I’m not talking about the flashy life, the famous life, the well-to-do life. I’m talking about YOUR life how YOU see it. But you don’t know what I want in my life. You’re right…I don’t…and I don’t need to know because the same principle applies whether you want to be a billionaire or backpacking throughout eastern Europe; whether you want to be a Grammy award winning singer or a Guru of all things Amish; whether you want to be an entrepreneur or employee of the year. How you view YOUR life and YOUR success is YOUR business, not mine. My job is to inform you that it’s all within your reach. You just have to go get it.

So what are some of the things stopping you from living the life you’ve always wanted to experience? A dead end job? Naysayers? Dependency on others? Afraid of criticism? Your hair’s not long enough? Your shoes are too tight? *Insert every other lame excuse here*

Honey, listen…there will always, always – let me reiterate – ALWAYS be an “excuse” as to why you can’t live the life of your dreams. But that’s all they are…EXCUSES!!! And what are excuses made out of? Fear. And where does fear come from? The unknown. And what’s so scary about the unknown? It’s not familiar. And we all know what familiarity breeds, right? Contempt. And what’s wrong with contempt? It means something is worthless or beneath you. So…in a sense…making excuses is protecting what’s worthless or beneath you.

Now does it make any sense to protect what’s BENEATH you?

So why would you make excuses holding on to a life that you know doesn’t serve you? Not only does it not serve you, it doesn’t help you serve anyone else. Even the most selfish person gives carbon dioxide back to the trees! (Think about it.) We’re not here for ourselves. We’re here for each other, but until we reside in and live from our truth we’re just taking up space, wasting time, and being irresponsible with our presence and our purpose. It’s more than the glitz and glamour that makes you desire the life you want. Marketing and branding have you thinking that’s what’s important – but you and I both know it’s deeper – WAY DEEPER – than that.

So here’s what I want you to do. I want you to sit with yourself, in silence, away from any technological and/or human distractions. I want you to think about your life, where it is now, where you want it to go, and where you might end up if you stay on this current road. Then I want you to do three things: dream…vision…grind! Dream about what your life will look like, feel like, smell like, taste like, sounds like (yes, honey, we’re using ALL FIVE SENSES) to YOU…not anyone else. I want you to vision the steps you need to take to make those senses come to life. Then – and this is the most important step – I want you to grind like you’ve never grinded before!!! Mercilessly! Fervently! With intensity, passion, and urgency! Your life has waited long enough for you to come and claim it. Make the vow TODAY to go after the life YOU desire! Don’t wait until your birthday. Don’t wait until New Year’s Day. Don’t wait until someone close to you passes away. And for goodness sake do not wait for yet another success story!!! You’ve heard enough of them! It’s time to create your own!!!

Now, in the words of Spock (and don’t kill me if I don’t get this 100% right)…”Go forth and prosper.” *insert Vulcan salute here*


Not enough…

Two words that paralyze growth. Two words that energize fear. Two words that can make or break your future. The phrase, “not enough…” is usually used in conjunction with an excuse. It’s a means to an end in regards to why you cannot – or, in reality, will not – achieve a goal in your life. So what are these excuses that generally follow these two dreaded words? Let’s uncover the more popular ones:

Time: Honey, listen! We all – let me reiterate that – WE ALL have the same 24 hours in a day! The amount of time you have is not dependent on the amount of money in your bank account, or the amount of energy you have, or the amount of people you know. None of these things can give you more time. None of them can take time away. Your 24 hours and my 24 hours are the same. What matters is what you DO with the 24 hours; that’s what makes the difference.

Money: Again, not an excuse! There are multi-millionaires that were born into money that haven’t accomplished a single thing. By the same token, there are people barely making a decent living on minimum wage that have touched more lives than any amount of money ever could. Not everything requires money, and ideas are plentiful – and free! You have to start somewhere, so do what you can with what you have now and the money that you THINK you need will come when you REALLY need it.

Energy: Lack of energy isn’t the real problem. The culprit here is lack of time management. Most of us are burnt out or overextended because we don’t know how to properly schedule our days. We have blocks of time where we’re trying to do too many things at once – and usually by ourselves – and when we do have down time we use it to run errands or catch up on mindless TV (which, believe it or not, is an energy draining source), or busy ourselves with unimportant tasks. We think if we stay up all hours of the night and try to get up early this will fit the “grind” schedule. WRONG!!! It makes no sense to sacrifice your energy – one of the main things you need to achieve your goal – by sacrificing sleep. By the same token, too much sleep can also drain your energy. Find the right amount of sleep that your body needs and build your schedule around it accordingly.

Support: Now this is a biggie! We all need, want, and desire to be loved, to feel important, and to have support. When these things are lacking they begin to take a toll on our self esteem. We start to feel inadequate, and that in turn affects us personally. We begin to question ourselves and our goals wondering if they even matter. Our goals do matter, with or without the support of others. Yes, achieving goals is so much better when you have a crowd of people surrounding you, yelling, cheering, and rooting you on. But if that crowd doesn’t exist, create it within yourself. After all, at the end of the day you are the only support system that you need.

I’m sure there are other “not enough…” reasons that you could come up with, but ask yourself, are they legit reasons? Is there any truth to them, or is it all in your head? Are they reality based, or made up by your subconscious mind as a way to prevent you from moving forward? At some point, you have to decide that “not enough…” is not good enough to stop you from achieving your goals. So whether it’s time, money, energy, or support you’re missing, find a way around it – there’s always a way – and keep striving towards success.

Trust me, you got this!


Don’t quit your day job…says everyone…always!

I’ve heard it.

You’ve heard it.

Everyone’s that has ever desired something better in life has heard it.

It’s based on the stigma that if you quit your job to pursue your dreams you’ll end up broke, homeless, and sleeping on your parent’s couch. Honey, listen, let me be the first to tell you *clears throat* that’s complete and total BULLSHIT! (Yes, I curse! I’m an adult! Deal!)

It takes more than quitting your job to land you in dire straits. However, if you don’t go about your entrepreneurial pursuit the correct way then your well-intending loved ones may have a point. Let’s analyze the message more and bypass the messenger.

Here’s the ugly truth about this saying. Most people are advised not to quit their day job out a sense of having security. Even though the industrial age is long gone, people still cling to the idea of having a secure position, secure paycheck, and secure 401k to depend on when they retire. That used to be the case…when your grandparents – and in some cases, great-grandparents – were alive and working. In this day and age, security no longer resides with punching in and out 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. Security – believe it or not – resides with you.

Let me paint you a picture. Say you have a position and you’ve been there for almost twenty years (you started right out of high school). During this time you’ve had four promotions, increased your income significantly, made great gains for and with the company, and have gained a wealth of knowledge through trainings, mentoring, and trial-and-error. Your confidence in growing all the way to the top is almost unshakeable.

Then you attend an unscheduled, but mandatory, meeting at 3pm on a Wednesday. You and your entire team have been told that the company has merged. The lower level employees jobs are secured – they pay them next to nothing anyway. Middle and upper management, however, will be skimmed down “according to company needs.” The next week you’re presented with a 6 months severance check, a cardboard box, and an hour to clean out your belongings that you’ve accumulated in the past almost-twenty-years.

Where’s your security now?

Now do you see how we can no longer depend on a job? It’s because the job isn’t the key factor in our success – we are! Success is based upon three factors: what you put out, what you bring in, and who controls what you bring in. That cozy position you’ve held and been devoted to for almost twenty years has just been ripped out from under your feet. But – you say – with all of your experience, accolades, and awards surely you can get another position paying the same amount, if not more, right?


These days it’s so easy to hire a new college graduate to do twice the work you were doing at half the salary. Not to mention the job market is saturated with talented, educated individuals who have the same knowledge base as you. On top of that, experience costs; companies would rather save $20k and train a new hire than pay an executive. Why? Because that $20k can be used to increase their profits while the same amount of staff do the same tasks. That is why this notion of not quitting your day job and being so dependent on a company is dead and gone.

So, what do you do about it?

Whatever you want! Just understand that a job is not your safety net…you are! Your knowledge, skills, talents, abilities, drive and ambition are what will keep you secure. Not a 9 – 5 or whatever your shift of choice may be. Remember, there are three sides to your success, and as long as you play an active, major role in all three sides you will always be control of our financial success.