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Happy Valentine's Day

It’s (Self) Love Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day, Loves!

We all know this is the day our significant lovers, family, and friends show us Love and appreciation with gifts, quality time spent, and words of care and affirmation. Chocolates and greeting cards be damned, this is more than a commercialized holiday. (Damn you, retailers, for squelching Love in the name of profit! *fists in the air*)

I view this day a bit differently than others. While everyone is all geared up to show Love to others, I’m geared up to show EXTRA Love to myself. Why? An even better question is, “Why not?” There’s nothing wrong – and everything right – with expressing Love to yourself.

While you are out and about spreading Love and goodness to everyone you care about, put yourself in the mix. Buy yourself some flowers. Get a HUGE stuffed bear (I’m partial to bears myself!). Take yourself out to lunch. Sure some self-righteous, indignant, scornful soul who graduated from Petty University might have a snide remark to say, but who cares?! That’s just a clear indication they have no idea what self Love is about! Today is about Loving you – even if someone else is, too! You’re allowed to receive gifts from them AND from yourself!

Enjoy today however you’d like. Do all the things – or none of them. Whatever floats your boat and fills you to overflow. Don’t allow anyone to shame you for showering yourself with Love and affection. It’s your right – and your duty – to Love yourself FIRST! Today, especially today, make it a priority.

Anchored in Love,

Coach B

Self-Love Series Part 3: Reclaiming Self-Love

We’re rounding third base in our self-love series. By now, you should have a better understanding of self-love. Once that understanding is solid, the next step was to make the declaration of accepting self-love. So what’s left? Here is where we go back to the basics. In the quest of reclaiming our self-love, we must remind ourselves of the different ways we can express self-love.

Below are ten ways you can reclaim your self love:

  1. Mirror Talk. In this exercise, you’ll have a loving conversation with yourself. It doesn’t have to be long or detailed. It’s a private moment for you to express your true feelings of love and appreciation. No one knows about this moment but you.
  2. Write yourself love notes. Leave them in inconspicuous places. As you come across them, you’ll be reminded just how fantastic you really are.
  3. Take a brisk 20-minute walk. Here is an opportunity for you to spend some quality time with yourself. You can think about anything, everything, or nothing at all. This time block is strictly for you and cannot – and should not – be interrupted.
  4. Take yourself out on a date. Dinner, a movie, bowling – find something that you love to do and haven’t done in a while and make a memory of it. Snap a few selfies while you’re at it. Create memories…that’s what it’s all about.
  5. Buy yourself something nice. It can be as extravagant as a $10,000 ring, or as simple as a $0.25 sucker. Whatever tickles your fancy. The premise is to give to yourself, from yourself.
  6. Go on a vacation. Whether it’s across town or across the country, shell out a few bucks and give yourself an opportunity of a lifetime. Visit somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, or a place that reminds you of who you are. Whatever you do, make the most of this trip.
  7. Get a massage. After all you’ve been through to get to this point, it’s time for some R&R…rest and relaxation. My personal favorite is a deep tissue massage with lavender and chamomile aromatherapy. Talk about heaven! There are plenty of massages to choose from. Find one that suits you…or better yet, experiment! Who says you only need one massage?!
  8. Give yourself a hug. Yes, it’s that simple. Wrap your arms around yourself and enjoy that warm embrace. You’ll know it’s authentic because it’s coming straight from you.
  9. Volunteer. If you’re a giver by nature, what better way to reclaim your self-love than to express your love for others? Spend time with the elderly, volunteer to be a big sister, donate blood. There’s a great need for givers. Fill that need and yourself at the same time.
  10. Give to a cause you care about. When you have a healthy level of self-love it’s easy to give to others. Pick a charity or cause – or even a person – close to your heart and do what you can to be a healthy reflection of self-love. Do this especially if it’s with a person. Don’t try to push your values onto them. Rather, show them what it means to love oneself. Be an example of healthy self-love. You’ll do them and yourself a world of good.

I’m sure you can think of many other ways to reclaim your self-love. What are they? Share below and inspire someone else. You never know who’s in need of reclaiming their own self-love. If you need help finding creative ways to reclaim your self-love reach out to me and we’ll get you back on track!

You Are NOT Your Circumstance

**I just created this post for my Empower Network blog, but it was so powerful I had to post it here, too!**

I just listened to this AMAZING Empower Network midday call and let me tell you that my Higher Power has a way of speaking to me. I’ve been asking for a lot of things lately: support, clarity, honesty, someone to believe in me…and I got them all jam packed into a one hour call.

The gist of the call was this: you are not your circumstance. In fact, you are bigger than your circumstance. I get this concept, really, I do. I teach it to others constantly. Yet it’s difficult for me to digest this for myself. I know I’m not in the worst situation in the world, but I’m not in the best situation either. Even with that being the case my situation does not define me – I define me!

I have a gift for writing. I started creating stories when I was young. In fact, I made my first book when I was in the third grade. It was a class assignment. When I made that book something activated in me. I’ve been a writer ever since. In middle school I was always writer of the week. I created songs, poems, short stories – you name it, I probably wrote about it. My gift was derailed in the 8th grade when I wrote a poetic story that the guidance counselor thought was too mature of a subject for such a young mind. She confiscated it and said I couldn’t get it back unless my parents came and got it. That wasn’t happening so I let it go.

That event did something to me. It caused me not to write for YEARS! In fact, I didn’t start writing again until I needed a way to release my thoughts while in an abusive relationship. It was my only recourse to help me get through it. It actually helped me get out of it. That’s when I realized that my gift was not something to be ashamed of, suppressed, or “tinkered with.” It was my passion, my purpose, my way to reach out to others and re-tell their own stories in a way that gives them a better outcome.

Since then, I’ve published 3 paperback books, 5 ebooks, several articles and poems, and have been hired by others to write for them. I’ve had my moments where writing is all I want to do, and then I’ve had moments where writing is the last thing that I want to do. It’s my gift, and thanks to my initial circumstance I was able to revive it.

So what does this have to do with you? Well, there is a circumstance in your life – one that is only known to you – that you are probably avoiding. What is that one tasks, that one activity, that one distraction that brings joy into you and takes you out of your circumstance for that moment? Whatever that task, activity, or distraction is, I’m willing to bet it will lead you to your destiny!

My task was writing. My activity was creating stories. My distraction was getting lost in another world that I invented to recreate a better scenario for myself. You’re doing the same thing, just in a different way. And that’s okay. You don’t have to succumb to your circumstances because it’s just a temporary hiccup in your life. It doesn’t define you. YOU define you! Your Higher Power defines you! Your destiny defines you! Whatever you want out of life – love, money, health, happiness, success, notoriety, a family – it can be yours if you control your circumstance instead of letting it control you.

I, personally, am still learning how to fully control certain circumstances in my life so I’m not going to pretend like I have it 100% together. No one does, really. The ones that do have passed the test of life and moved on to the next realm. Yet I can recognize now when I’m in control and when I’m letting my circumstance control me. That awareness puts me in the moment. And in that moment I’m able to make a decision. That’s all life is, really – a series of decisions. I’m learning to make the decisions that are a little scary, a little uncomfortable, yet are better than dealing with the comfort of convenience, complacency, and circumstances.

I’m learning to stretch. I’m learning to grow. And I encourage you to do the same. So what circumstances are you facing that you need help dealing with? What do you want to let go of? Remember, it’s easier to face a fear when you know you’re not alone, and even if no one else on the face of this earth hears you, I’m listening and I got your back. Why? Because this is what I do!

Let’s talk…

One sacrifice you should NEVER make for your child!

Brows have been raised. Lips have turned up. Someone just asked me if I’m crazy.

Now that I have you attention allow me to break this down.

As parents, we want to give our children the world and more. We want to set them up for a life that we, for whatever reason, have not been able to experience. We want them to truly believe that they can be whomever they want, have whatever they want, and do whatever they want (pending that it’s legal, moral and ethical). We do this in a myriad of ways. We put them in the best schools. We have them in all sorts of activities. We take them to places like libraries, zoos and museums. Anything and everything that we think will help mold and shape them for a better future is done…

…at the sacrifice of our SELF!

I’m currently in the process of doing the same thing. My daughter wants to be an actor/singer. She’s really talented (the girl can be dramatic in a snap) and she’s been BEGGING me to do it for at least four years. That was sign #1 that she is serious. She’s been studying other actors on TV, reading books about their lives, and doing her own “practicing” whenever she can. She likes activities that allow her to get out of character – become someone else – and she loves singing just about everything and will sing anywhere. That’s signs #2-#5…I think! At any rate, I’ve decided that if she’s still talking about this then there must be something to it. So what I’ve started doing is seeking out an acting and vocal coach and finding a performance arts high school for her to attend. This will correspond with my desire to move.


Instead of sacrificing my desire to move to the south to follow my own dream of being a full-time publisher and writer, I’m INCORPORATING her dream into mine. I’m SHOWING her HOW to ACT on her DESIRE instead of suppressing what I want to do so she can do what she wants to do. There’s a reason for this. Kids emulate EVERYTHING they see their parents do on either a 180 or 360 degree level. It’s a 180 if they know it’s absolutely NOT for them; then they do the total opposite. It’s a 360 if they feel it’s how they’re SUPPOSED to respond or act and they’ll follow your lead completely. Instead of suppressing my dream for my daughter, I’m showing her how to FOLLOW her dream by FOLLOWING MINE. I’m living and teaching by example. She’s been watching me like a hawk and I honestly believe that’s part of the reason why she still wants to act. She knows how much I love writing and no matter what came my way I always either found time to do it or came back to it. She’s the same way…and so is my son who wants to be a director (you should see the movies he makes with his toys!). So I’m showing them both the PROPER way to follow your dreams.

Parents, I know you want the best for your children. And the best way to give them the best is to go for your own dreams. Show them how to overcome the challenges, adversities and obstacles that inevitably will come up. Give them proof that nothing and no one can stand between them and their dreams. Help them see what DEDICATION, PERSISTENCE, and ACTION can reap them. There is no need to sacrifice your all so your child can have it all – because truth be told when you sacrifice everything you have you are teaching them to do the SAME THING! Be the example for your child. After all, you are their first – and most important – role model.

What goals have you let go of? What dreams did you let die? What actions can you take today to rekindle that desire…that spark…that excitement within you? Find it. Relight it. Live it out loud! That is the BEST way to teach your child and it only requires you to sacrifice your ego…but trust me, it’s worth it.

Now This Is Real: Episode 1

See where it all began! Watch and enjoy! Feedback and sharing is greatly appreciated! Also, subscribe to our Youtube channel!