I wrote this last night, but I felt this epiphany was SO POWERFUL that I had to release it at a time when others could really catch it!
So … 😮 …I was having my nightly talk with my Higher Power and as you may or may not know I’ve been doing a lot of mental cleaning out and releasing lately. I’ve read dozens of books, done I don’t know how many seminars, teleseminars and webinars, signed up for challenge after challenge after challenge…all in an effort to go from where I was to where I want to be. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned some very valuable gems along the way and have met some AMAZING people, but there is a such thing as knowing too much. It’s this overload of knowledge that can lead to what is popularly known as analysis paralysis. That’s when you have to stop and analyze everything you’ve learned before taking the next step, yet you’re afraid to take that next step because you feel there’s more you need to learn.
So, back in October I decided that I’ve learned more than enough for this stage and I’m ready to release so I can progress. In the midst of this release I’ve had so many “A-HA!” moments and “Duh!” moments as well. I’ve also had some painful realizations about myself; some that I honestly don’t even want to divulge to anyone because they’re just that embarrassing!
But I digress!
Back to the talk. I was asking God – my Higher Power – to help me release some of these embarrassments. I’ve made a “plan” for the next year, but I know these are just ideas and may or may not be the Real McCoy. I’m totally fine with adjustments; I’ve become a pro at them. Anyway, one of the things I asked to be removed from me is this sick obsession I’ve developed when it comes to visualizing, materializing, and manifesting all of this STUFF! You know: houses, cars, money out the wazoo! Yeah, that stuff! Stuff that five years ago I didn’t really obsess over or care about (at least not on this level).
Let me give you a little feedback. You know that everyone has a natural talent, right?! Well mine is to make people feel good. I don’t “try” to make them feel better, it just happens. You can be on the verge of going straight postal and five minutes with me will have you streaming with tears and clenching your bladder shut because you’re laughing so hard! (If you’re that type of person, that is! I can make you feel good, but I’m not a miracle worker!) It was my niche. I have a knack for it. Still do. But now, all of a sudden, I’m overwhelmed with these people, coaches, experts, gurus, etc. telling me to THINK BIG, DREAM BIG, GO BIG OR GO HOME with my thoughts, ideas, and desires. They are like little parasites that are feeding off of my mental stimuli and causing me to over-exert myself to achieve something I never 100% desired to achieve prior to being introduced to their antics!
You know what some of these incessantly present thoughts consists of? A 6 bedroom/4 bathroom brick and cobblestone home, a Lexus RX 460h Hybrid (Cerulean Blue), all the diamonds I can stand, a room for clothes and a room for shoes, international trips wherever I want, whenever I want, for however long I want, oh yeah…and $720 MILLION DOLLARS!!! (OR BILLION!!!!)
You know what I most desired five years ago? To have a published book, to be a profitable writer, and to be a loving wife and mother of three.
Here’s the thing though. I don’t fault myself one bit for wanting what I want. After all, my Higher Power says life is meant to be abundant and if I ask and believe then I will receive. My issue is with the over-clouding of these thoughts in my everyday life. I’m more focused on obtaining the material than tending to the spiritual.
I asked this simple question: God can you please show me what it is you want me to do? What do you want me to have? And can you help me to not focus on the “stuff” and get back to what I’m supposed to do.
Not even 30 seconds later I made this statement (God speaks TO me THROUGH me):
I feel like a kid standing outside of a candy store. All of my desires are on the other side of that glass, just waiting for me to enjoy them. All I want to do is get inside, yet I don’t know how, and the owner is standing next to me with full hands. The only thing standing between me and the candy is me helping the owner to open the door to his shop.
Did you catch that?
Let me repeat it…with emphasis this time!
The only thing standing between ME and the CANDY (my desires) is me HELPING the owner to open the door to HIS shop!
Basically, by helping others (my natural gift) I open the door to receive my own desires!
That’s what I’m getting back to, and that’s what I encourage anyone overwhelmed by their own desires to do. Find your natural knack. Go back to that place five years before your obsession and examine your life. What did you want or desire then? What did your heart truly yearn for BEFORE others implanted their own desires in your mind? What new desires do you actually want for yourself? Answer those questions and you will discover that when you return to your original desire to help others in the way that flows naturally for you, then and only then will your true wants and desires – new and ever-present alike – be fulfilled.
I want my home for my husband and family. I want the Lexus, surprisingly, for the safety features more than anything else. The money is hit or miss. But what I truly want is to be able to continue to put smiles on people’s faces with my personality, my crazy only-B-would-do-that way, and through my writing. If I do what my Higher Power put me here to do in the first place, then everything else will come. That is why for the remainder of 2012 I am cleaning house in all 12 dimensions of my life. Try it! It just might work for you, too!
Nissan said it best: